【ENG SUB】Consort Meng Arrives EP25 | Jin Chen / Jiro Wang / Liu Guanlin / Xia Yiyao | YOUKU
Oh My Cute Consort Uncle, the palace is so much fun! How so? Lots of people here. That makes it fun? Like you’ve lived in a wasteland before. You’re so mischievous. When you’re in a crowd of people, it’s just trouble waiting to happen. Mother praises me so as well. You think it’s a praise? You truly know no shame. If you and Chang Zhi swapped personalities, that would be great. Even though he’s a boy, he’s as shy as a chick while you are like a tiger cub. I don’t want to be like him. He’s soft as a bun. Soft as a bun? Who did are you talking about? You! So the soft bun is talking about me? You! Idiot! Uncle is right. You should learn from me. Have you forgotten that time you wrote an essay full of nonsense and the teacher slapped your palms? It was only a few slaps. So what? I’m not as delicate as you. You think he didn’t hit you enough? That’s because you didn’t finish the essay. If you wrote out all the nonsense you would’ve drove the teacher to insanity and you might’ve lost your hands. Uncle, look at Chang Zhi! It’s all right. You two are so much like a pair of clowns. No wonder your mother couldn’t stand it and wants me to discipline you instead. You two will spend the day with me. [Narrative of the World]
[Episode 25] My Lady! What’s the matter? Tell me what happened! Ask Fu Xi to return these to His Majesty. We’re even now! My Lady! Your monthly allowance up to next year has already been deducted. Are you sure you don’t want to keep some? Is he your master or am I? Whose orders do you follow? Take these away now! All right. But we’re really out of money. Hurry up. My Lady, how about saving some? Go! All right! My lord. My lord. My lord. The empress dowager is waiting for you at Xing Qing Palace. How can you refuse to go? If punishment is to be meted then not even if I had 800 heads would there be enough to behead. She loves to pinch our faces. Having Jiu An there for her to pinch is enough. Jiu An has thick skin anyway. I’m not like her. I haven’t grown into my looks yet. What if my face gets pinched flat permanently? My lord. isn’t that a bit dramatic? My lord. My lord, slow down! You know the ritual dance to the gods? That was an incredible move! Ritual dance? How ugly does my martial training look? That’s not all I know. I can also chop bricks with my bare hands and split rock slabs on my chest. Not many people would dare to bully me. Is that true? Then can you knock down that tree with your face? My face? Maybe with my head. But if the tree is downed where will you get peaches next year? True. I should forget about this idea. Good boy. Then can you shatter a rock slab with your face? You’re so curious. Were you awed by my martial arts and want to learn it? Of course not! My lord! My lord, slow down! Don’t trip or bump into anything or I’ll be dead meat, My lord! What’s wrong? I had a strange dream last night. Then I met a little brat during my morning exercise. Who? The young prince. He’s a strange kid. He wanted me to shatter a rock slab with my face. Xiao. I’m more interested in your dream. Tell me about it. I’ll analyze it for you. My dreamed… His Majesty increased my rank. Dreams are your heart’s desires. That’s right. You’re finally in the right mind. You’re not waiting for that person anymore? You’re quite something. In my dream, you were all very happy and prepared so much to celebrate. But the title really is not much to be happy about. Aren’t the titles of imperial concubines all very nice? Exactly. What’s so special about yours? There are so many elegant titles. But His Majesty granted me the title of Concubine Pee! Don’t laugh! Don’t laugh. Don’t drink anymore, Concubine Pee! I dare you to say that again. Say it again. No, no. I’m going to skin you! Concubine Pee, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have! I’ll skin you! Stop! Spare me! Concubine Pee! I dare you to say that again! I’ll get you! Concubine Pee! Stop! Concubine Pee! Stop! Stop right there! My lord. What are you thinking? From a landscape architectural and aesthetic viewpoint in this scenery this tree stands in the golden ratio. Young Chang Zhi. He has a keen eye. My lord? Why is he staring at that tree? Look at his small hands and tiny face. Isn’t he cute? I just want to pinch him. My lord? You can’t be serious, My lord. My lord? My lord! Oh, my lord. What are you doing? If this tree is an eyesore to you I’ll just have someone cut it down. Don’t hurt yourself. Chang Zhi. Were you practicing in secret? You said you didn’t want to learn but in reality you were deeply awed by my powerful kick sending down a flurry of petals weren’t you? You’re so stubborn to deny it. You’re acting like a girl. I’m not a girl. Enough. Stop teasing him. Fu Xi, you can leave. We’ll stay with him for a while. Thank you, My Ladies. Hold on. Did you do what I asked yet? I’ll go do it right away. Mestries Xiao, how come you could kick down a flurry of petals but I’m not able to kick down leaves? Because not everybody has the ability. This is martial arts. Understand, Chang Zhi? If you want to learn you should seek advice from an expert. Otherwise, practicing in the wrong way can be very dangerous. This is how profound the world of kungfu is. You’re still young. You won’t understand anyway. Then give me advice, won’t you? Won’t you? All right. Practice after me. Feet apart. Shoulders open. That’s right. Squat lightly. Lift both arms. Yes. This is the martial art squat. Practice this first. Be it trees or the palace you’ll be able to kick it down. Is it really that powerful? Of course. Martial artists never lie. You can ask Consort Meng if you don’t believe me. Yes! Mestries Xiao has a lot of time and is highly skilled. You must learn from her. Straighten. How can a man fidget around like a woman? I guarantee I’ll train you into the palace’s second manliest man. Who’s number one? His Majesty. He is automatically first at everything. Nobody dares claim to be better. I can’t! I can’t keep it up. Chang Zhi! Don’t say you can’t! Don’t say you can’t keep it up. Men can’t say that. Are you a man? I am. Goading him won’t work. Let me. Chang Zhi. Mestries Xiao may be skilled in martial arts but I’m good at thinking outside the box. Let me teach you a secret. If you really can’t hold the stance any longer then place a fire beneath your butt. Whatever for? A person’s potential is revealed under pressure. You’ll be afraid of getting burnt and naturally hold the stance. I’ll get a fire pan right now. By the way, Bu Meng next time you see me don’t pinch my face again. You’ve pinched me 30 times already. Isn’t it a bit dishonest to be doing this? The nephew pays for his uncle’s debts. His uncle angered me. I’ll just pretend I’m teasing a child and teach him some life principles while I’m at it. The more beautiful a woman, the better she is at tricking others and can’t be trusted. What did she say? Nothing much. She just wanted me to return these to Your Majesty. Returning things after a breakup is normal. Absolutely normal! Give this back to her for me. Yes. Wait. Come back. Stay here if you have nothing to do. Don’t go out. Why? I divined the fortune for Fang Hua Palace this morning. The outcome was most inauspicious. Moreover it hasn’t been peaceful in the palace lately. How so? The young prince and princess are staying at the palace for a while. It’s only been a few days and for some reason the young prince sat onto a fire pan. His tender little butt was scorched to the point of charring. The ominous reading was for Fang Hua Palace not the prince. Anyway, you should all be careful. Caution steers the ship of safety. I think this ship is bound to sink. But come to think of it it’s quite odd. Yes. He’s a young kid. What would drive him to do that? Even if he’s under a lot of pressure he couldn’t have been stressed to that point. The young prince didn’t say why he did that? He refused to say. It’s become a mystery in the palace. The empress dowager sent men to investigate and hasn’t been a good mood. So you should all beware not to irritate her. Yes, you’re right. Why are you trembling? Am I? Even the table is shaking along with you. It’s cold. Is it cold? No! My head hurts. If your head hurts, why are you clutching your stomach? My stomach hurts! I must have ate something bad. I have to go. My Lady, are you all right? I’m fine. You don’t have to follow me. My Lady! See? The bad luck I was talking about. This is the first sign. Where are you going? I… My stomach hurts too. Bad luck. Omen. So stupid. Da Huang. Do you have bad luck? Wen Ren! Come. Come. What we did must be kept secret unless there’s no other alternative. Consort Yan and Wan Wan both have big mouths. If they were to find out the whole palace will find out. If the empress dowager blames the ones responsible our lives will be over! I didn’t hear anything. Fu Xi, what do you want? Consort Meng His Majesty wanted me to give this to you. What is His Majesty gifting you now? I don’t care for it. What’s this? What? He’s given this back to me too? All right. Fine! We’ve broken up! It’s normal to return our love token. Why do they both say the same thing? Fu Xi. Wait here. I have something to return to him too! Yes. Consort Meng. You can just talk civilly. Don’t ruin the food. This isn’t ruining it. I’m embellishing it. What are you doing? I’m hungry. Honestly. Spread it evenly. All right. Give this to His Majesty. He gave this to me. Now it returns to its owner. He will be very grateful. Yes, My Lady. Your Majesty. So? What did she say? Consort Meng seemed outraged. Anger is normal. It would be strange if she weren’t. What did she give me? A letter of repentance? This stinks! Take it away! Take it away. Yes, Your Majesty. What in the world? Da Huang. Want to eat? Eat? My lord. Greetings to you. Da Huang, eat. Da Huang. He… Did you see jackals and wolves or tigers and panthers? Why do you look scared out of your mind? I should find a painter and have your expression drawn! Consort Yan, you’re incredible. You make so many hand movements. Good girl. I didn’t plan on telling you all but Chang Zhi has come on his own. You should all be prepared to be implicated. Why would you suddenly say that? We’re not the least bit prepared! The ones who caused him to sit on a fire pan was us. What? It’s all right. There’s still time until the truth is exposed. The situation is still within our control. You two really won’t stop until you shock us to death with your words. I missed a breath and nearly met my end. It was because he’s just too adorable. We couldn’t help but play with him. Who knew he would take the joke so far and think it was true? Even if he’s cute you should have known better. The student becomes superior to the master. He’s like his uncle. His Majesty is already so intelligent. What if… the young prince is also a man of intellect? You two won’t have much longer to live. Good friends face adversity together. The harder things get, the more we must stand united. Right? Yes. It’s not too late for me to say I don’t know you. Too late! I don’t want to go outside. I have my will thought out. I’ll tell you later. If anything happens to me remember to send it to my father. I don’t offer that service. I only spread gossip, not wills. I can’t believe you. But on account of our many years of friendship I’ll place food offerings on Ghost Festival and replenish your grave soil on Tomb Sweeping Day. Thank you? You’re welcome. Master! Wukong? Go. Close the door and don’t let anyone in. Okay. I’ve seen this scene before. Who did you call Master? You, Mestries Xiao. You taught me, so you are now my master. Chang Zhi. You can’t say that recklessly. Don’t let anyone know I taught you kungfu. The next time Jiu An bullies me and I beat her she’ll ask me who I learned my skills from. What do I say then? You two are so violent! He’s so young. You taught him to beat women? You two are so bad! That’s right! Chang Zhi, your master is terrible! Don’t insinuate yourself here. You’re the same as her. Chang Zhi I didn’t teach you kungfu so you can beat Jiu An. It’s to strengthen you so your mightiness can intimidate her into not bullying you anymore. As a man your might is most important. Do you still want to learn? Of course. Then don’t tell anyone I’m teaching you. Can you do that? I won’t say. I can do the squat stance already. What should I learn today? Even a layman like me knows squatting a few times doesn’t work. You need to practice for years! Shut up. I’ll teach you a move that is great for strengthening. Yes! Too late. Come. Follow along. A big watermelon. Cut into halves. Half for you. Half for him. And another half. For myself. Xiao. That taichi you taught us yesterday was too much at once. I’m sore all over today. I’m in so much pain! Chun Ping. Mestries Xiao! Aren’t you two on the outs? How come you’re together? She submitted to me because I’ve learned kungfu. I saw wildflowers blooming on the wall of the Cold Palace but there are so many thorny weeds there. How can I pick flowers without getting pricked? There are also flowers above the wall but we’re not strong enough to climb up there. Mas… Mestries Xiao since you know qinggong (kungfu jump), why don’t you pick them for us? Well… Picking flowers doesn’t entirely depend on leg strength. It also depends on your core strength. Really? Don’t listen to her nonsense! She’s your mas– If you keep spouting nonsense you’ll end up in a grave sooner or later. I don’t want to lie in a grave. I want a crystal coffin. Wan Wan I told you Meng’s has unconventional tastes in literature. Don’t read the novels she recommends. Do you really think you’re Snow White? When are you going to take me and Jiu An flower-picking? I’m really sorry. We hurt our backs while practicing kungfu. His Majesty actually has exceptional talent at flower-picking. Go to him. He’ll take you two. Really? Let’s go! If you don’t keep your mouth shut you’ll end up dead tomorrow! Hopeless. Hey! What did I say now? Why are you all treating me like this? What did I say? Uncle, stop reading. Take us flower-picking. Uncle, we want to pick flowers. I’m busy. Be good. Is it really as Consort Meng said? Flower-picking depends on leg strength and core strength so it’s extremely difficult. Is that why you’re not able to do it? How can that be? Didn’t Consort Meng say Uncle is exceptionally good at picking flowers? Only he can do it. Picking flowers? Exceptional talent? Yes. Consort Meng said that. Come. Give this to Consort Meng and have her take you out to play. What about flower-picking? About that… I don’t have as much leisure time as the common man so Consort Meng will have to go with you. Be good. I can’t believe it takes so much just to pick flowers. Could it be true that only martial artists are able to pick flowers? Amazing. Martial artists know kungfu and can pick flowers. How about… we go travel the world as well? Wait, ladies! Wait! Uncle told me to give this to you. Slander after our breakup came later than I expected. Why don’t you first impart your heart-stealing technique to me? Tonight, Changji Hall. I’ll then teach you my flower-picking technique. That stinking rogue. Who are you talking about? Nobody. Why are you blushing? It’s so hot. I can’t stand it. Mestries Xiao, we want to travel the world. Travel the world? Why? Chang Zhi told me you’re teaching him kungfu and all worldly travelers know kungfu. I didn’t dare to go before because I was afraid nobody would protect me. Now that Chang Zhi knows kungfu the two of us can travel the world. Knowing a simple stance and punch means you know kungfu? You two are so simple-minded. I don’t care. If you don’t take us we’ll expose you two. They’re early rebelling. Early rebelling? They hit their rebellious stage early. It’s all your fault. Why did you have to tempt him into learning kungfu? Now great. They both want to travel the pugilistic world. They’re going to push me into early meno! Early meno? Early menopause! So what do we do? What else? Go with the flow. Jiu An? Before going out into the pugilistic world you need to do sufficient research and learn about the world. Otherwise if you rush out there without knowing anything others will laugh at you. How do we research? Research at random. There are many people in the palace who know about the outside world. Mestries Xiao can take you to them. Me? What are they talking about? Let’s go. Isn’t Consort Meng coming? Come, come. I’m busy. You go on ahead. Let’s go. Run, start! You’re all unmanageable. Hold it! Sing our anthem and display our mightiness. I eat hotpot you eat the hotpot base. Consort Meng. They’re so disobedient. They won’t even sing. They are unresolved. This unit isn’t easy to lead. They all have weak voices. Their song even disrupts the peace! My Lady did you need to see me? The world? They say you’ve traveled the world. How is the world like? No I was a past traveler. Anything with the word “past” added to it is no longer worth anything. Why did you leave? Like smoke, the past cannot be chased or you will end up with a face of ash. Is it not good out there? Would I be here if it was? It’s all about fighting and violence every day. If those warriors don’t see any blood they’ll feel out of their element that day. That’s chivalry, eliminating evil. I know. There’s something you don’t know. In the pugilistic world crimes don’t undergo a trial. Honor trumps the legal system. Grudges and resentment trump right and wrong. If someone looks sinister to you, you could outright kill him. Dig out someone’s eyes chop off someone’s fingers or break someone’s arms! Nobody does a thing about it. Killing is even admired. That has been true throughout the ages. I remember back then I ordered a sweet tofu pudding at a restaurant and came to a disagreement with a warrior who was eating a salty tofu pudding there. The situation blew out of proportion. I was unwittingly drawn into a nasty dispute. Since then I was chased for three years by the warriors of salty tofu. I was afraid to sleep naked in case I needed to run. It truly drives a man to despair. How can it be like that? Sometimes I can’t help but look up at the sky. Am I the crazy one or is the world crazy? Is there no place for me out there or am I not fit for the world out there? Do you want to hear me? I also know about a fight between the meat filling sect and the salty egg yolk sect. That was a bloody scene. The meat filling sect and salty eggyolk sect– That’s enough. It’s too bloody, not suitable for children. Let’s go. Be careful. Good. Come on. Don’t go out into the pugilistic world. They chop people’s fingers off! Do you hear that? It’s a world in which people cut each other up over disagreements. Do you still wish to go? Bao Qu you’re so incredible. My admiration for you is unending like torrential river water overflowing from the Yellow River. Bao Qu, you could be a storyteller! So that means they’re stuck in the palace but yearn to be out in the world? We have to banish their notions of roaming the world. But once children dreams are shattered they don’t grow back easily. You’ll be the one to pay if they walk down the wrong path. Can you afford it? Okay, fine. I’ll do it. I’ll do it, all right? They’re coming. Put on a good act. Another tough job. Is the world out there good? Of course it’s not! Why? You have no idea. Doctors out there who have excellent medical expertise aren’t wiling to save people. This is an unspoken practice. That’s why your chances of dying out there rises exponentially. It’s irrecoverable. Don’t they have medical ethics? I don’t believe it. It’s a common saying. Is there anywhere you roam that you won’t be attacked? Those with broken arms or broken legs are common cases. All warriors roam the pugilistic world. They have nothing to do and don’t earn money. They don’t have money but need to go to a doctor. Is there any doctor who would heal them? Right? Saving lives is most important! What’s most important is doctors are human too and need to earn a living as well. Well, let’s not talk about that yet. Let’s first talk about in the event that a doctor who places importance in healing and saving others and saves a penniless warrior. Guess what will happen. What? What? What is the pugilistic world? It’s full of roaming warriors. All walls have ears. If he saves one penniless warrior then he’s done for. Warriors with broken arms and legs or are dying will rush on over to him. Then what will he do? Will there be any end? He won’t save them. Then he’s done for. The warriors know kungfu. They’ll chop off his head! So… When I hear about some warrior out there on the verge of death again I feel sorry for them. I’m glad I am in the palace. This is a warm and safe place. Don’t take what you have for granted. You receive free medical services. Compared to those warriors you’re much better off. Shouldn’t I hear some applause now? You hear that? This is a world in which the destitute don’t get medical care. Let’s go. My goodness. How could you make me lie? The pugilistic world is great. What’s great about it? I’ve liked the pugilistic world since I was a kid but I have limited skill and can only write some news articles for pugilists and manage to have a little bit of connection to the pugilistic world. All right. You can continue boasting about the great qualities of the pugilistic world and lead them each by the hand out into the world. If His Majesty faults someone you’ll be the one to lose your head and the palace gets a new historian. No big deal. Lose my head? No! I understand. I know what to say. Be smarter. You got this. My lord, my lady. may I have a seat? Don’t drink too much. You can drink when you’re older. Here’s the thing. About the world… It’s really a long story. I have a friend who is a special author for the pugilistic world’s daily newspaper. He wrote a wonderful article but the warriors were displeased. They all sent stinky tofu to the newspaper office stinking up the whole office such that nobody dared enter for days. They must have been displeased because he wrote a terrible piece. It was excellent! It’s just that there are numerous sects out there all with complicated connections. Let me put it this way. If someone praises your enemy would you like that? Exactly. So think about this. Can he praise someone? No. Right? Once he praises someone their enemy will come beat him up. If he speaks ill of someone their clan will come beat him up. The pugilistic world is hard to please. Say. It’s just a newspaper article. People say he has no attitude. When writing a commentary people say his opinion is wishy-washy. He later thought to write novels instead. People said he put the spotlight on the pugilistic world and set fire scorpions on him. They even set a bounty to have his right hand chopped off. He lost his hand days later. I witnessed this with my own eyes but now that I think back on it it was terrifying. How could the warriors bully him like that? Exactly. My friend was so scared that he doesn’t have any inspiration for writing. Can he still write? He’s left-handed. He can still write even without his right hand. He just doesn’t dare to show up in public. He writes anonymously now. You hear that? It’s bloody and violent world that forces people to turn anonymous. I don’t want to roam the world anymore. I don’t either. It’s done? Done. Wonderful! We finally nipped it in the bud! Thanks for making so many trips. It’s nothing. This is excellent. Now that this is taken care of, there won’t be more trouble. Consort Meng! Consort Meng! I read this martial arts novel you gave me. I want to learn kungfu! I want to roam the world! The pugilistic world sounds amazing! Did they not see me? Did I accidentally learn an invisibility technique? Can you see me? Chinese TV Series Exclusive YouTube