【ENG SUB】Consort Meng Arrives EP11 | Jin Chen / Jiro Wang / Liu Guanlin / Xia Yiyao | YOUKU
Honored Teacher, please accept a kowtow from your disciple. Don’t be in such a rush to call me Teacher. What about the gift for accepting you as a disciple? Gift for accepting me as a disciple? No, you, you, this.. Nice! You’re pretty good at hiding things! You… Doesn’t it hurt your foot placing it in your boot? I grew up in a poor family. After saving up so many years, I only have this much. I thought that I’d come to the Imperial Kitchen and work hard. Do my best to succeed and gain money and fame, and thereby, render my services to repay Teacher, the Imperial Kitchen, His Majesty, and everyone. Since I started accepting disciples, the number of youths who have asked me to be their teacher could go three rounds around the world. Any one of them was richer than you. You’re just a small little assistant chef, tell me, why do I have to accept you? Teacher, I’m handsome. No, this… No, will a handsome face feed you? It can, Teacher. In future, if you make a mistake on the job, send me out as the scapegoat. With my face, you can basically reduce a death penalty to a life sentence, a life sentence to a determinate sentence, a determinate sentence can be reduced to exoneration. Can-Can-Can it really do all that? Be it male, female, elderly or young, regardless of their sexuality, age or race, as long as Teacher asks me to seduce someone, I’ll seduce him. If I’m not able to seduce him, I’ll pack my bags and leave. Teacher, please give me a chance. Good looks is the primary productive force. You are rather glib tongued. This is your Eldest Senior, Golden Sword. Greet! How do you do, Eldest Senior? If there’s anything you done in future, just give me the command. Third Junior, hurry and rise. Third Junior, you’re too courteous. This is your Second Senio- I know. This must be Second Senior, Silver Sword. How do you do, Second Senior? Little Junior sure is intelligent. He’s able to guess even this. He does have some smarts. I’m going by Teacher’s naming patterns to guess. Teacher, would you like to gift me a name as well? Should I be called Copper Sword or Iron Sword? Wooden Sword would be good too. No. Did I say that I’d gift you a name? To so hastily demand a name. You… How can you be so wretched? Teacher… You don’t need to change. Teacher’s recently developed a trauma about changing names. In the coming few years, don’t even mention anything changing names or fortunes, understood? Understood, understood. What in the world is this? This is the first time I know what Drunken Quail smells like? Isn’t it just the smell of wine and meat? Look at this dish. This ground tofu drenched in vegetable gravy. It looks like what I threw up the day before! Your taste really is impossibly hardcore. This won’t do. I have to go find out what the hell he’s up to. I’ll go with you. Me, too! Can’t we go after eating? I’m not done eating yet! Greetings, Ladies. Old Cai, I heard that you suffered a bout of sickness. What a pity! No, can you not have such a joyous expression while saying it was a pity? You really believed me? Old Cai, The annual Culinary Championship is going to begin soon. You recovered at just the right time. Are you going to participate? Of course, I’m going to participate! I lost the last time. But who knows, I might make my mark again. Right? I plan to bring along my disciples and take part in this Culinary Championship together. You’re not thinking of using Shanjuan and the rest to be cannon fodder for you, so as to set you off in a better light, are you? No, no. My Lady, rest assured. I treat them as if they were my biological sons. In this championship, there will be chefs from all across the country. Be it those with good looks, with money, with skills… I’m taking them in order to train them. Old Cai, but I heard that this championship is the holy grail of newbies, but the nightmare of senior chefs. If you win, you will be able to continue as the Imperial Chef and continue bragging. If you lose, you can only pack your bags and scat. It’s the world of them young people now. This time, I can be considered as having come back from the dead. I’ve straightened out my thinking. I should have my own life, get married, and have a son. This way, when I die, I wouldn’t have lived in vain. Then your son mustn’t take after you. He’ll be as fat as a pig. A big cross! Next, let us welcome the two contestants going into the Culinary Championship Finals. Famed Imperial Chef, Cai Taixian! Great! Indie Chef, Kang Shanjuan! So handsome! Yesterday, they were still teacher and disciple; and today, they’re battling each other. What a spectacular sight this is. Who will be the eventual victor and claim the title of King of Chefs? May the two participants say a few words too. Canvas for votes. My final dish will be the magnum opus of my life, Deer Antlers Steamed with Bear Paws. Great! Great! My dish for the finals is Wild Vegetables with Fermented Beans. Why did you think of cooking such a dish? When I was young, my family was very poor, and we’d be hungry most of the time. I remember that my mother would always take me to the hills to gather wild vegetables. When we returned, we’d fry the wild vegetables with the beans that we’d fermented for a very long time. I still remember the aroma till now. That’s the flavor of maternal love. That’s why I want to use this dish to enter the last round of the competition. What a great mother. Your mother will be proud of you. I don’t know. W-Why would you not know? Because she’s lying in a decrepit grave. I didn’t have money, and wasn’t even able to erect for her a better grave plaque. But I believe that if she’s looking down from the heavens, she will be very happy for me. I hope that you all, too, will like me. My motto is your dream is as big as your heart. Challenge yourself, and surpass yourself, and your life will eventually be splendid. Please vote for me, thank you. Kang Shanjuan is too pitiful. I’m going to give him my vote. May the two contestants please turn around. Ladies and gentlemen, the ultimate victor for the Culinary Championship is… Kang Shanjuan! Say, please make your acceptance speech. I just want to say, no matter how pretty bonzais are, they still cannot compare to the wild orchids. Just like no matter how good the Imperial Chef is, ultimately, he still cannot compare to a common dish of Wild Vegetables with Fermented Beans. Then… do you have a few words to say to your teacher? I say… I have nothing to say. Err… Teacher! Teacher, don’t leave! If you leave, what are the two of us to do? Enough. Today, your Third Junior has made his mark. From today onwards, he will be the Head Imperial Chef. The two of you will work hard under him and do me proud. You talk. I-I-I think that today, the fermented bean was especially sour. Extra sour and extra delicious! That’s what you call delicious! No, I feel that the bear paw was the most delicious! Me too! It wasn’t greasy. The fermented beans were better! But the fermented beans were vegetarian! I was joking with you. Cai Taixian! Cai Taixian! No, Cai Taixian. You sure do walk fast, don’t you? Chasing you all this way, and I still can’t ask you to stop! Don’t, don’t shout. Don’t shout. I’m no longer the Imperial Chef now. It’s not very appropriate for me to turn up at Fanghua Palace. I’ve to avert causing scandals. Don’t talk rubbish. We’re looking for you to help you. Help me? We reckon that Kang Shanjuan must have a special relationship with you. He approached you with an ulterior motive. And eventually ursurped your position. He was plotting his every step. Think back carefully. What kind of venegeance does he harbour against you? We were complete strangers, how could there be any emnity? Could he be your son? That day, when you said that you were going to treat your disciples as if they were your biological sons, he seemed to have a big reaction. – No…
– Hurry up! No… What are you afraid of? I-I think let’s forget it. Cut the crap. Go in and clarify things. We’ll stand guard. If he really is your biological son, break his arms and legs. Treating his own father in this manner, that’s committing a sin. If you don’t, I’ll help you. Go! Hurry. Alright. This… Where did you get this from? Thi-This was what I gave to… Who is Kang Manhua to you? You have no right to call my mother’s name. This belonged to my mother. Hand it back. No. Sh-She was your mother? Right, even if she was your mother, then, then why would you hate me so much? Yes, your mother and I were each other’s first loves. But after her family broke us up, we never saw each other again. It’s not like I disrupted your family’s harmony. Why are you going against me? This makes no sense. My mother never married, and was mocked by others. Every day was like an eternity to her. What family harmony are you talking about? Are you joking with me? You’re saying… Juan’er! This child… Where has he gone to play again? Look at you. Let me carry you. Mother, you keep saying that we’re waiting for my father. But when will my father return? Soon. Your father will be back soon. Juan’er, you need to be good. Otherwise when your father returns, he will beat your buttocks. Mother, what does my father look like? Your father? He’s a cute fatty. He will cook food for me to eat. It’s as if his hands can perform magic on food. Everything becomes different. Mother, since Father is so good at cooking, why do we have to go hungry? Because your father has lost his way. That’s why we need to wait for him to return at the place that we got separated. Let’s wait for him together, shall we? Yes. Cai Taixian, you scum! Why didn’t you go look for her? That’s right! She waited so long for you. She didn’t even get buried in a good grave! You’re the ace pilot of scums! An absolute scoundrel amongst scoundrels! I only want to tell you one word. Turns out you’re the one who needs to be beaten up! No, I… I… After we broke up, upon returning home, I tried to hang myself multiple times! But… I broke two roof beams, three trees but still wasn’t able to die. In despair, I decided to go to the capital to make a living. These few years, I’ve been thinking that no matter what, she’s still the young lady of a rich family. She’d definitely listen to her father and marry some young master of sorts. I’m but a lowly chef, how dare I have wishful thinking? But who’d have thought that she… she actually escaped on her own? She even bore my child… Manhua, I let you down. It’s all my fault. I-I… Let me come accompany you now! Manhua… I let you down… Manhua! Manhua… Manhua… Mother, this is the place where you separated from him. I’ve brought him to see you. What’s there that you cannot face people and have to hide behind the tree? They’re being sentimental. If we appear like that, it will affect the mood. Pity. Kang Shanjuan came to settle scores with his father. He isn’t the assasin sent to assasinate you. You’re so concerned about me? Now that we’re free, let’s talk about your motive. Your Majesty, you’re finally willing to hear me speak. It’s like this. In the palace, I’m but an unnecessary ornament who also annoys you all the time, right? If I can help you capture this assasin, then let me leave the palace? This is the second time you’re telling me that you wish to leave the palace. This shows that I truly and honestly desire freedom. Your Majesty, you’re smiling. Does that mean… Dream on. Impossible. You! The first favorable impression was the hand wishing to touch, yet withdrawing. I say, Taixian, since Kang Shanjuan left, His Majesty has changed to smacking his lips every meal. He gets extremely disappointed. It’s only been a few days but His Majesty cannot stop thinking about the food made by Kang Shanjuan. Men are such fickle beings. You- Are you not a man? You are. I… No, you’re not. I say, Old Cai, he’s your child after all. The son outdoes his father. There’s nothing to be jealous about, isn’t that right? Did you hear that? That’s right! Most importantly, the food you make now isn’t good anymore. 100% failure rate. I say, Eunuch Wu, if you have time, cajole his Majesty. If you aren’t able to corral the wild horse, then let it gallop freely. Don’t keep thinking about that Master Kang. Pay more attention to the people in front of you. He? Master Kang? If he’s a Master, what am I? What are you? It’s not important what you are. What’s important is the food you cook. I say, there’s no creativity. Taking an example. The previous time, Kang Shanjuan made that stinky tofu. The moment his Majesty ate it, he gave it a thumbs up. You’re still talking about that stinky tofu? That stinkiness, it isn’t even as authentic as the stinkiness of dung. The king sure has strange likings. You, you, you… Right now, the foremost priority is to get Kang Shanjuan back! With his departure, I really have no mood to cook anymore. I’ve found out that he seems to be a chef at some restaurant. But there are so many restaurants. How are we to find him. That’s right! I have a way to find him. My lady, you’re here. My lady. You… My l-lady, you… what way do you have? I have a special ability. As long as I’ve eaten before the food cooked by a chef, I’ll be able to identify it. The next time I eat it again, I’ll be able to tell. Is that so? Absolutely! This mission really is especially suited for me! Brother, do you know what the purpose of our trip this time? What is it? To help Concubine Qu test for poison. In fear that in her quest to find people via eating, she will end up dying outside. This is just one of the small tasks. You have to help me woo Susu. I know that you’re normally very very good at picking up girls. So I’d like to ask you to impart some of your skills to me. Alright! There are some omnipotent pick-up lines. You must memorize them. They are very effective. 24 hours, that is the length of time you spend in my mind. Impossible. Every day, when I poop, my mind is empty. I have to poop at least twice a day. Every time I poop, it takes at least an hour. You have constipation? Bother, bother. Just repeat what I said. 24 hours, that is the length of time you spend in my mind. Every song I hear, the song is about you. Every book I read, the story is about you. Every play I watch, the act is about you. The main character in every sweet dream I have is you, is you. It’s all about you. Repeat it. Every song I hear, the song is about you. Every book I read, the story is about you. Every play I watch, the act is about you. The main character in every sweet dream I have is you, is you. It’s all about you. You make me forget who I am. Not bad. You know how to expand on it. But pay attention to your expression. When you confess, make sure you don’t appear sleazy. How am I sleazy? You appear sleazy the moment you smile. I won’t smile then. When you don’t smile, you appear like a pervert. I- Old Bao, I really want to know, for someone like you. has a girl ever initiated a conversation with you before? There has. Aren’t you initiating a conversation with me now? Say, Brother, do you think that it will work just by memorizing these lines? Why don’t I buy some clothes and get my hair done? The best is to cover up your face. Get lost! How is it? I’ve posed for so long. Can you guys show some reaction? Look! Look at my new hairstyle! Look. My hair style. Why does it look like a rooster’s comb? Didn’t I tell you? Spend money on the most important thing! This is the most important thing! Hairstyle is the life of a man. Take a look at my hairstyle. Shaxian Eatery, HeDiLao, Dongbei Fishery… All my favorites! Let’s start. One testing for poison, one guarding, one eating. Let us conquer everything! Are you sure you’ll be able to identify his food? It’s not that I’m bragging. But it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call me a food connosieur. There’s a difference between being a food connosieur and a glutton. What’s the difference? I know. Food connosieurs only eat good food. Gluttons will eat shit as well. This wasn’t said by me. – Die! Die!
– Don’t hit me! Don’t hit me! Stop! Don’t ruin my hairstyle! Look! What’s that? That foul mouth of his, only speaking the truth. I, Wang Lili, with beautiful skin, and unknown ancestry, successfully married a wealthy businessman this year. Regretably, my husband is impotent. Seeing how there will not be anyone to inherit this massive fortune, I’m searching for young, healthy, upright men to aid me fulfill my dream of being a mother. A thousand taels of gold will be given as thanks. There’s no need to read it out. It’s not like you’re the only one who can read. What’s there to read? I’m going to eat. Wait! When free lunch drops from the sky, good fortune is definitely on its way. Seems like Susu’s bethrotal gift has been settled. Inn is offering high salary to hire male and female hosts? Say, Brother, what are you so excited about? I was lowly-educated. I don’t understand what it says at all. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m an innocent handsome man. Hiring waiters, needs to be healthy. What’s going on? Nowadays, even waiters need to do such stuff? Didn’t you say you didn’t understand the previous advert? Why are you guys dilly dallying? Hurry up! – I’m about to starve to death.
– Let’s go. I’m starving. Wait for me. What are you doing? Why are you posing? Come in! No need. You guys head in. I’ll stand guard by the door. See if there’s any of those suspicious people. Crazy! It’s not like this is the palace. Miss! What would you like to eat? I want this, this, and this. Alright. Miss, is there anything you don’t eat? There’s none. But I have a request. The chef who cooks must be handsome! He needs to be better looking that this! One who’s a lot better than him. He needs to have at least an eight-pack. Needs to be someone who looks delicious to eat. Alright! I reckon that we don’t have to eat at every restaurant, right? Let’s just go directly to the back kitchen to look at the head chef. The head chef is the prized treasure of every restaurant. Please enjoy. Thank you. The boss won’t easily allow people to meet him. What if he gets poached? Besides, the main mission is to eat! Finding Shanjuan is just the side job. Understood? I knew it. Wang Lili? Wait! Lili! Lili! Lili! Are you Wang Lili? That’s right, it’s me. I read on the advert that you wanted a son. May I ask what the criteria is? You wish to apply for it? I have a very broad criteria. The main thing is to be young, fit and get along well. Then do you think you get along well with me? I think that it’s alright. Really? Yes. That’s great! I can fulfill your dream of becoming a mother! Mother! From now on, you’re my mother. I’m young and healthy, without any illness. In future, I’ll definitely be filial to you. Mother, why aren’t you talking? Would it be convenient for me to ask exactly how much is our family’s fortune? Where should we go to register? Mother! Don’t go! Mother! Our fortune… Say, styling your hair into a rooster’s cob. How did you turn so attention-seeking? No. You even believe such scammy adverts. To think you’re the Palace’s Chief Guard. Embarrassing! I- That thing, I just wanted to try out of curiosity. The food at that restaurant is not bad. But it isn’t made by Kang Shanjuan. Braised pig trotters. It hasn’t clos-ed… Where are they? Where have they gone to? Could it be that they think I eat too much and purposely abandoned me? Where did they go to? These people… It sure is troublesome taking kids out of the palace. Do you want to sit and drink? Sure. Ballistic Lemon? What a weird name. I like it! Boss, give me a cup. Alright, have a seat first. Sure! Hello, your drink. Thank you. Shanjuan! You didn’t go to be the head chef of a five star restaurant and set up a street stall here? Please don’t address me with such intimate terms. My surname is Kang. Little Kang. I’m older than you! Kang… Master Kang! Why are you looking for me? What was it about? How could I have forgotten? Let’s not bother about the details! I like sweet things. Add more sugar. That’s salt! Hurry and look. Look! Why is Teacher Kang touching that woman’s hand? My heart’s broken! I don’t want to live anymore! Don’t leave! Don’t leave! Come back. Seriously! Who’s that girl? No idea. Who cares who she is. She looks like pickled pork! That’s right. Ar-Are you alright? Do you like it? I like all handsome guys. I’m not talking about myself. I’m talking about the drink. Do you like it? This? I love it! It’s strange. The fusion of salt and lemon is refreshingly sour. It’s more interesting than pure fruit juice. The layered flavours are more distinct. Actually, I’ve eaten the entire of today. I feel like my entire brain is all squishy with cholestrol. After drinking this, I feel like I’ve went up to heaven with a mouthful. But I can’t go to heaven. Because I’m a fairy who has just descended down from the heavens to visit the mortal realm. Do you have any more here? I want to bring some back to the palace. Sending you off to outside the city walls. There’s something I need to say. Although all the flowers have bloomed. Why did you only just return? Everyone has went to sleep. Look at my face. I can’t see anything on your face. But I reckon there must be a problem with your brain. I saw Kang Shanjuan today. He’s still as stylish and as muscular as before. That easy on the eyes. I think that my face is already glowing with the radiance of spring! Are handsome guys able to have such a long shelf life? Could it be he spent a fortune to have it done? Say, am I about to fall in love? I think that you’re about to turn into a pervert! So mean. Let me give you a taste. Just try a sip. It’s really delicious. I won’t die, will I? What the hell is this? When he cooked in the palace, he liked doing fusion. Who’d have thought that this drink would keep in his usual style? That’s right. He also told me that he recently came up with garlic and chives flavored fusion drink. And said that he was going to give me some to drink once it gets launched in a few days. He sure is creative. No wonder his Majesty loves him so much. His Majesty? I forgot about the mission! Don’t tell me you forgot to tell him that his Majesty wants him to return to the palace? I was too focused on admiring the handsome guy and showering him with the highest compliments. I forgot about it. What do I do? Dear, I think you should tell him to first develop a drink for you that will help improve your intelligence. Why are the Cowherd and Weaver Girl constellations so close today? Adulterous love is in the air. Where? Eunuch Wu, Kang Shanjuan isn’t willing to come back. But-but-but, for his Majesty’s sake, I can find him often and try to persuade him. Right, right. Then I’ll have to trouble you to get him to hurry back. His Majesty misses him already. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Your words just now were more feeble than even your kidneys. Was it that obvious? Even the blind could see it. Say, how should I persuade Kang Shanjuan? Help me think of a way.